Obligations over the holidays
My grandson is participating in a school play at school. This is like the most important thing in the world to my daughter. She does not understand the risk I am taking attending an event like this during flu-COVID season. Mixing with children and people in this kind of setting is a huge risk in my estimation.. Also, my COPD is getting worse. I just had an Echo and they found mild pulmonary hypertension. My doctor wants me to have a right heart Cath. I don't want this test just to confirm what he already knows. My doctor is invasive test crazy! Please give me some feedback regarding this. Am I being selfish ? Should I go ?
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I would not call taking care of one's health "selfish". My oldest daughter is having a ballet show tonight. I will not attend for the same reasons as you Sal. My wife, my youngest daughter, and my two grandsons are attending. I will do no one any good by being in the hospital over the holiday's because I went to a show with about 200 other people and caught the flu, COVID, or pneumonia. I am feeling fairly well this year for once, and would like to make it through the entire holiday season without being sick. I find no reason at all to put my own health at risk. Especially with COPD and compromised lungs. I feel if I did that, I would just be asking for trouble. Do I want to go? Of course I do! Will I go? Nope. It is just the way it has to be. Do I feel guilty? I used to, but not anymore. In my opinion, guilt is a useless emotion that just sucks energy from your system. Use your best Judgement Sal, but please do not feel guilty or let your daughter make your feel guilty for taking care of you. How would she feel if you went and ended up catching the flu, COVID, or pneumonia and had to be hospitalized over the holidays? See if you can get someone to video tape it and you can watch it with your grandson. Just my two cents. Take care Sal and God Bless!Thank you so much for your input.
Dminor always has a fine insight into issues, and it is appreciated. On this one, I defer to the question: What is important to you? There are risks in nearly everything we do these days, from grocery shopping to getting the mail from the box, we risk exposure to others. Myself? Based on the fact of my current condition and the time I have left on this planet, I will risk everything, every time, if it is important to me. Seeing my grandson at dinner in a crowded restaurant, my daughter performing in a play with 800 in attendance, all these are important to me. Family has no boundaries that can stop me at this point in my life, and I will do what I can to make them, and myself, happy. We all die. How I choose to go out will be actively participating with my loved ones, and not cowering behind a fortressed wall for fear of being sick. It will happen anyway, so why not enjoy myself until I no longer can? Best wishes, keep your stick on the ice.
Hi
It's really interesting that you have gotten two polar-opposite perspectives on this issue. It's a lot to digest about. I think, what that proves, is that no one but you can make this decision and that there is no wrong answer. If you are comfortable with your decision, be firm and strong. Many times, my mother-in-law could not come to my children's events, including their plays. My kids were totally fine with that, probably because my husband and I weren't bothered. We supported my mother-in-law.
Do you think it might help to explain your decision to your daughter and grandson together? That might ensure that your grandson reacts to the situation, not to your daughter's reaction. Does that make sense? This is your body and your health. You should be the one deciding when to take risks and when to play it safe. Sending lots of gentle hugs your way. - Lori (Team Member)
